More – live
Sep 20th, 2012
The Bitter End, New York, NY – May 18, 2012
When the whole thing turned a corner, and the old things hold no meaning anymore.
The Long Lost:
Jeremy Bronson – Drums
Jordan Shapiro – Piano
Maria Neckam – Vox & Nord
Robbie Seahag Mangano – Bass
Boo !!!
Well hello my friend, God i hope you remember me, or else this is going to be awkward !!
How the heck are you ?
I promise i have not fell off the face of the earth !
nor have i been wisked away by aliens !!
life is going by at top speed at the moment, and i was aware that you had the launch going on… i hope that is going fab.
I have missed our chats, loved waxing lyrical with you, strangly have not done that for awhile, sometimes, i think it’s the people you feel comfortable with, that allows that to happen, you can’t force that can you ?
well life is just like that i guess.
I really hope this finds you well and happy.
fabulous karma to you and yours David, hope to speak soon.
love Jo x
Hi Jo! Wonderful to her from you, and sorry for the delayed reply, things have just been nuts but mostly in a good way. You sound very good which I’m very glad to hear! Thanks for the good wishes and very same to you and yours! All my best my friend, David
Hi David,
It feels like an age since i sat down to drop you a line, and i must say, i have missed my philosopher !
Well first let me say Happy Thanksgiving to you and all your family.
i hope you have a fabulous day.
After the last 6 weeks of mayhem you and thousands of others have gone through, I know i am thankful you are ok sweetie.
I have been watching the blogs you have been making about the UK album launch, i am so excited for you David, it must feel so good, savour every moment, soak it up, let it seap in, invade you, you worked so hard for it, i wish you only the best of every success, and hope it does amazeballs !! over here, i am sure it will.
ooh, i watched the video as well, watching the relationship deconstruct itself, sad, but sometimes life really is ! beautifully done.
Well with Christmas just around the corner, I am really beginning to flap !!! i have not even started my christmas shopping! i have never left it this late before, i normally have a stack of presents already wrapped! and then just finish off with a little flurry of last minute bits, not to sure how or why i have left it so late.
i think it seemed like ages away, and then suddenly it’s not !!
so, i am going armed with present list to town on saturday, with a couple of friends to attack said list, and try to catch up a bit !
I have 14 people coming for christmas day dinner, so really need to get my act together!
I am really looking forward to that though, it’s a lot to cook for, but i love those family christmas’s, what with mum & dad being gone for so long now, it makes it very special to have my only brother and his family coming over.
You know, the real christmas tree,with every kind of bauble on the tree, that we have collected over the years, each one a memory or a reminder of lovely christmas’s gone by, the smell of it, the cinnamon and spiced apple candles burning and infusing the air with the spirit of christmas, family laughter and shiny happy faces, lazy, cuddly after dinner naps, and the old favourite re-runs on the telly, wizard of Oz, and the Queens speech, magical !
One of the nicest things is my son, still believes in father Christmas ( and as we all know, you have to believein him, in order for the magic to happen ) i love that child innocence, the putting ready the mince pies and carrots for santa and his raindeer, the snowy footprints leading from the chimney (flour) that amazes him every year, the endless questions of how does santa get down it, and how does he get back up it, it really is a magic time of year.
what are you doing for christmas David ?
Do you do, new years eve in times square, i loved watching that, so many people were there, such a wonderful atmosphere.
we have a similar gathering in trafalgar square, people jumping in the fountains, nelsons column, London is madly busy this time of year, (well most of the year, in fact ) not my favourite place when it’s that busy !!!
Anywho, i am rambling again, so i will sign off for now, i will let you know how the shopping goes!
Again, Happy Thanksgiviing to you all, will speak again soon, until then, take good care of you and yours. xx Jo
Hi Jo! Thank you, it’s good to hear from you! I’m glad you like the video and thank you for keeping up w/ the news.
I’m sure you’ll get all of your shopping done and everyone will get excellent gifts! I know how much heart you must put into it and I’m sure it’s universally recognized and appreciated by your loved ones. Sounds like you have hefty festivities in the works which sounds wonderful, as do your lovely descriptions of christmas memories past (and certainly many wonderful ones ahead!)
I don’t generally go to Times Square, I prefer to spend it with friends and loved ones, usually in someone or other’s home, sometimes dinner with friends beforehand is good. Still not sure where I’ll be this year but generally excited for what lies ahead in 2013 so I’m happy with that.
In any case I hope all of your activities leading up to and during the holidays are healthy, happy, and wonderful for you, the ones you love and care about (and everyone else, for that matter!) and all the very best to you and yours for the rest of this season and well beyond!
David
Hi David,
This is what you have inspired in me !!
The thinking.
Ok, this is what I know; we journey through life, sometimes walking, sometimes running, and often at break neck speed.
On this journey, we meet hundreds of people along the way.
now, some of these people, we meet briefly, so they kind of pass through, some stay much longer, and a handful stay forever if we are lucky enough.
Each of these people leave a footprint, a trace memory with us, some are strong memories, and stay with us, others very fleeting, and fade fast, why is that, what is that all about?
I think, sometimes it’s about the exchange with these people, what you give and what you get.
I don’t mean material things, but an exchange of something deeper, it’s a thing that’s not visible to the human eye, it’s what happens internally; let me explain if I can.
I believe we meet some people for a reason, they come into our lives and some become firm friends, we meet them often, chat with them, build lasting relationships with them, spend lifetimes with them, the exchange is fair, both parties gets something, most of the time.
Others have shorter time spans with us, but manage in a brief exchange to give us something powerful, something that stays, clings, wraps, shrouds itself in us, around us, that we carry for the rest of our lives, far outlasting the brief exchange, these are often one sided exchanges.
You get more from that person than you give them. It does not mean to be an unfair exchange; it just turns out that way.
The reason, they offer you something, and for me this turn of events is rare indeed, and it is normally something that someone says, they give advice, or put something in perspective, make you really stop and think, offer you an alternative view, or just confirms what you had been thinking all along, a something.
I have always found people fascinating, I love to people watch, so I see these exchanges all the time happening to other people, these are the easy ones to work out, BUT when the exchange is yours, we don’t see it so clearly, it can take awhile to seep in.
I am, in my family and friends,kind of like the matriarch ,the mama, the one that people come to when they have a problem, or need advice, or want to get something off their chest, the one who will love them unconditionally, and try not to judge them to harshly, or sometimes even be stern and firm, so my friends and family will get “the truth” as I see it, and sometimes that can be hard to take, because it is not what they really want to hear, as that means they may have got it wrong, but if it helps them grow and develop, well I would not be a friend, in the true sense of the word, if I only gave them the “fluffy kiss-arse answers, would I ?
So, if you’re that person that normally assumes that role of adviser, shoulder to lean on, tear mopper-upper and mad philosopher, and so on, it can startle you when someone gives YOU that!
That is why you remember that person, because they gave you the something, you are so used to giving, that when you find yourself on the receiving end, it has the ability to “blow your mind”
I find minds (brains) fascinating, and how different they can be.
To look at a brain as an organ, they all look much the same, but it is what is held within….
how different they all become, when you engage with them, converse with them, and you begin to reveal the “what is inside”, how different the thoughts become, how one will like this, and how one will hate that, fascinating, it’s what carves us into individuals, and makes us all unique.
So to every one of my fair exchanges, thank you
And to every one of the unfair exchanges, may I thank you from the bottom of my heart, they will stay with me always….
Someone was my mad philosopher, has “set me free” in my mind, given me deep and meaningful answers, without harsh judgement, and just a little kick in the arse I needed.
It is a treasure to behold,
David,
Thank you
Jo xxx
Thank you, Jo – these are wonderful, and beautiful, and I believe quite universal sentiments that you have so earnestly and givingly shared here with us. It is truly a great thing to see a person who has such a full, busy, and demanding daily life able to express such a full and rich inner world.
I fully agree with what you are saying – we all give and get in varying degrees in any given relationship, which is natural. I think as long as we are all giving (and getting, too) we’ll be alright.
oh ok, lost the plot there for a mo, now i see it !
by the way, my blog is under construction !!
Definitely let us know the link when it’s up!
Hi David,
first if all let me say a calm Hello ! it seems like ages since i have wrote on your blog ! (it still feels more like home than my own !)
well, just to answer a few things, while i remember !
firstly my son’s party was great, he had loads of fun, presents, cake, soda ! all things not so good for him, then went and bounced on his new trampoline for ages and ages, he must have cast iron guts, as they say over here, made me feel sick just watching !! but it was a lot of fun bless him.
Ok, so on my blog, i have filled in some detail in my profile, well at least i think i did, not sure if it helps or not !! but so far (although i have not checked for two days) people have been nice, and been respectful of my wish of, not using it to pull people apart, so i am really pleased with that element. I have promised myself also, that i will not be a slave to it, just when i have something to say, you know? no pressure !!
Life has been ridiculously busy at the moment, hence why it has taken me so long to reply !
That’s such a rare commodity is time, and to be honest, i hate the rush and bustle, i like things much slower, so you get a chance to “fill in the colour” (sorry english spelling) but things are whizzing by at the moment.
I seem to remember that i said very recently that i should “slow down, & smell the coffee” but see you were right again, no so easy to do !
Anyway, enough about me, i see your band played again ! have not had a chance to have a listen yet, but hope it went really well, it must be such a buzz ! will definately come back at the weekend, and have a listen and wander about your site for anything i might have missed in my haste !
feel free to post on my blog any up and coming gigs, it all helps i dare say, just such a shame i live here, so far away or else i would pop along ! who knows, one day, i may surprise you, and introduce myself, buy you a drink for putting up with my waffle and drivel !! you earned it !!
managed to catch your latest blog, it emailed itself to me, highly intelligent set up! it seemed a little sad, maybe that was your mood, or maybe just reflecting?
will definately catch up soon, hope your well, and wish the best of everything to you and yours. xxJo
Hello Jo!
. Don’t think I was too sad recently but you know, the moments have their ups & downs, I take it all and say “thank you”.
Well, the flip side is it’s much better to be busy than bored! But balance is best. (check out that alliteration). Whenever I see you at a show you have my word I will be the one buying you a drink! (Then we can go back & forth
Best to you and yours, my darling! David
Hi David, you about?
That’s strange, i left a really long, long, blog here last night, via my phone, now where did that go !!who got it, oops !
Will go check my phone !
Ok, Hi, what a mad day that was, all blur and no colour, you know, break neck speed, but slowing down now.
Well my meltdown is done, it was killing me all over the weekend, so went AWOL for 4 hours,took myself off, away from home, needed space to think, you know ? i m sure you do, the house felt to closed in.
the up shot of it was, i needed to apologize to my friend and work mate, for my inter office madess ! i could not leave it, it was eating away at me, so i wrote a very long text to her, to say i was sorry, and because she is fabulous, she was really cool about it, in fact, she was worried about me ! which made me feel worse, but, finally, i think i have worked it through my brain, so hopefully things will be better from now on.
It’s a high preasure job, and i am fairly passionate about it, so it don’t switch off, it comes home with me, and even if i am not working, it seeps in, takes over at times, and i am fairly rubbish at keeping things seperate. (note to self, must try harder !)
I think that it happened, because i had been on full throttle for about five weeks, and was not sleeping, then a series of events happened, and bam, meldown !
You are shockingly right about me being hard on myself, I am by far my own worst critic, in all aspects of my life, i think we all are, but in varying degrees, mine borders on OCD !! and find myself constantly frustrated, back to constant striving to better one’s self.
Over the weekend, i have looked closely at myself, that can be uncomfortable, but it is relative to the problem, ME !
I just need to take some of my own advice, and change the things i don’t like, try the sitting, and just being, instead of telling others to do it, you know, be quiet, just be, clear the mind, it’s the refreshing of the brain that brings, that i have been missing, and with it, my better judgement.
so, easy to say, not so easy to do, but i am working on that now.
It’s my Son’s 9th Birthday tomorrow, so loads of family coming over, that will be mayhem ! but in a good way, i will try to take a seat, and just chat with them, instead of fleeing around, i will let you know how i got on.
Well, i have to tell you, my family bought me a beautiful deep red drum kit, last year for christmas, it was something i always wanted to do, (back to bucket list stuff again!) i have promised myself this year, i will start to have lessons ! so in my missing four hours, i popped into our local music store, wandered through rows of drums and guitars and had momentary kid flash backs to christmas past, when you had that sick excitement feeling in your belly, found the two books i needed, beginners books on drum, and guitar ! so this weekend coming, i will be learning my first guitar notes, and soting out my lessons for drums ! (two off the list) my brother plays guitar, so may go pester him if i get stuck ! so i am very pleased, my obsessive nature can get its teeth into that, instead of driving me nuts !! if nothing more, it will be fun, and that my friend it what i think i need right now.
So let the transmogrification begin !! lets see what comes out the other side, hopefully, one chilled hippy !
anywho, quick change of subject, i am so bored with me, i am looking forward to your new song going up on youtube, let me know when it happens. if i master either my drums or guitar, maybe i’ll come jam with you !! it could take some time though !
Well it is so late, time has won again !! need to get some sleep (hopefully) will catch up again soon, till then take care of you & yours. jo
Hi Jo! Sorry it took me a sec, I wanted to give you a proper response. How did the party go? I’m hoping you’ve gotten a chance since then to do as you wrote about (and know you should
and slow down some. I couldn’t agree more, it’s completely necessary on the one hand and one of the hardest things in life to do on the other (especially if you’re someone who a: has a lot of energy, b: wants to get a lot done and c: cares very deeply about things in the way that you really seem to)! But it always reaps benefits once you finally do just take a breather, right?
Very exciting about the new drum set – I hope that you find time to use it as long as it’s in a relaxing, joyous kind of way – the last thing you need is another obligation on your plate! Even if it is to yourself.
Our show was videotaped the other night so there should be some new videos going up sooner rather than later, thank you for always watching!!
Please rest up, enjoy yourself and be well, Jo. Best. David
Hi David, hope your fine, you sound it, well i did think of a blog of my own today! wow how nuts is that! just somewhere to vent, to see, to say, to be, will need to look into it, & get some tech help from a mate or two! Will let you know, save me rambling all over yours! it must feel like you have been given homework! I will give you a well earned rest now, and say just this, “thank you” for all the help & wisdom, you give me lots to think about. speak soon, take care till then. jo x
Ha! No, not homework at all, Jo. It’s nice that you’re so honest and forthcoming and I’m glad you feel safe enough here to do so. Def keep me posted on the your-own-blog front. Hope you’re having a great day! David
Hi David, lots to tell you, but that will take time (such a difficult commodity to come by) so will fill up your blog later tonight. Have presents to wrap, my son’s 9th birthday tomorrow! Cannot add terrible mother to my list!! That will torture me for weeks !!! Am fairly upbeat today! see you work wonders!! Thanks again David, squeak later. jo
Hi David, This is my most favourite resturant in Scotland, check out the view !!!
http://www.ben-nevis-inn.co.uk/default.asp it sits in the shadow of Ben Nevis, our highest mountain in the UK. blow your socks off stuff !
Wow, that looks amazing, Jo! Thanks for this, I will definitely look forward to stopping in there when I’m lucky enough to be in that part of the world.
have a great Acoustic set tonight, would have loved to have been there to see it, but being in the UK has its limits.
best wishes
Jo
yep, it’s official, “More” is my favourite.
Love the song More, listened to it 4 times last night, very calming. Love the guitar at the end, wow, blew my socks off !! Jo x
Thank you – makes me very happy that you like.
ok, we call this the area to state a song that pops in you head as a good one, or a loved one, does not matter who’s.
how about Van Morrison, into the mystic, love the saxaphone in it, love the fact that everyone i know, does air sax to it !!
speak soon i hope
Jo x
I can’t believe i have said all of this, it sounds MAD !
well i must take D,H Lawrence’s advice here, have you come across his poem called self-pity?
well it goes like this.
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.
So, on that note, i had better suck it up, and just move forward. i will be awake, due to the fact not sleeping ! so give me a shout when you have a minute. sorry you followed me now eh !
Great poem – a completely true and brilliant sentiment.
Definitely not sorry, Jo.
i don’t have another poem for you at the moment, but i am sure one will spring to mind another day.
I did talk bucket lists with you, well not what was really on the list so much as, did you have one & what was on it. i do recall what was on yours, for the first few, asll really lovely.
so apart from my hideaway haven,
i would like to go to northern spain to see Salvador Dali’s house and the museum in Figueras, and a place called cadaques, it’s where he painted mostly, they have breath taking rock formations, that he used in some of his paintings, a facinatiing man in my eyes.
also, i want to see the Northern lights (Aurora Bolealis) i here Iceland is the best place to see them.
last one for today, so number three, ground zero, to pay my respects, and just sit and be, and reflect.
well there you have it, feel free to ask questions, or make statements, i promise, i can shut up long enough !
in that heaven, i dream of opening a old English tearoom,kind of 1920′s,1930’2 style with crisp white linen tablecloths, and fine bone china teapots, tea strainers,. With serving girls in old cloth caps, with cake stands and cake trolley’s, with cakes like good old mum used to bake, clotted cream scones, you get the picture. then on certain winter afternoons, hot tea, a warming fire place, and a grand piano tucked into the corner of the room, aching to have it’s ivory’s tinkled with gentle lulling music, to restore you, before you set off again on your journey, but most of all, the sense that you are alive, and are at one with yourself. Sorry, be careful what you wish for next time david, as you can see, spilling my guts for all to see, should not be this easy ! Embarrassed now !!
It’s beautiful, Jo. Beautiful vision, beautiful feeling. What could be a more worthwhile goal than ‘the sense that you are alive, and are at one with yourself’? This is the goal for all of us, since the beginning of conventional consciousness and I’m certain for all human eternity (otherwise it would be a very sad turn of conditions).
You shouldn’t be embarrassed in the least! Thank you for giving of yourself so honestly, it’s the biggest gift we can give, and it’s beautiful.
I am Squirming a bit on this paragraph, this one is deep and meaningful, this is something i have wanted to do for sooo long, get out of the rat race, and have this haven, so you can watch life, instead of going at break neck speed, and with everything slowed right down, you can engage with people, converse with them, otherwise its all just blur, no detail, no colour, no feeling. So, being very british, tearoom has always appealed, but a really good one, with all home made temptations. the grand piano, well i have always loved piano’s (cockney rhyming slang, is old joanna (me) for piano, sorry ! but a grand piano, always makes me stop and first listen, then a terrible need to touch ! stroke the wood, it would be a good talking point, also people will LISTEN, and not feel the need to fill every moment with chatter, mostly because the feel uncomfortable with silence’s, just for them to be quiet, and just be ! well there you go, another wander through a odd little brain.
and somewhere in all of that mess, i am Loosing myself, don’t recognise myself at times !
Where is this zen place, the place that has the ability to wash a persons soul,to restore the balance in your head and heart,? it is real? does it exist ?
well yes, for me it does, it is the closest thing to heaven i have found yet, and for me it does all of the above. The west side of Scotland, the Highlands, it has the impact to stop your breath, stuns you into silence, and makes you drink in the beauty of what you eye’s are seeing, and whilst all that is going on, a very heavy drugging peace spreads through you like a Anestetic, numbing the bad, the cancerous, toxic feelings you brought with you to this garden of eden. This is where i belong, where i was meant to be, it can’t feel like that, if it was wrong, can it? Do youself a favour, just type into google, Fort William, or Eilean Donan castle, or Dornie, and you will find a piece of me.
Oh man – I love it, totally stunning, Jo. It makes me happy to know that you have a place like that, that makes you feel that way. It most definitely is real, I would say, and those kinds of places are among the most important ones in our entire lives. I hope you can get there as frequently as possible.
And unless you’ve killed someone, Lady Macbeth, it sounds like you’re being a bit hard on yourself and your soul – we do a lot of things to each other in this life, some of which seem very unpleasant at the time but which end up helping us grow and develop in ways we otherwise could not have (that goes for both parties of the exchange).
I’m also certain that nothing you’re feeling inside of yourself is toxic or cancerous, they’re only feelings, which are as natural and human as humanity itself.
So go where you feel good and don’t be that hard on yourself – life is hard enough, already! The beating yourself up thing is too much – easy to do, but too much, and generally useless. Unless you’ve done something truly horrific, you haven’t done anything that bad.
well no you are right, i have done nothing that bad, but you can feel as if you have let yourself and others down, that’s hard to do & take, because it gives people the right to judge you poorly, in that moment, and if you don’t like what is said, it’s hard to ignore, because their judgement was correct, even for a split second. I think i just don’t like the idea that people won’t like me, they will reject me, and no one wants to feel like that, well unless you have rhino hide !!! and in that case it will not Penetrate.
I definitely understand what you’re saying, Jo – but it really sounds like you’re being very hard on yourself, probably too hard. And there’s a very good chance that the energy you’re expending on worrying about whether or not someone else is judging you well or poorly far outweighs any potential damage you’ve caused (which may very likely be none at all). Yes, it’s difficult to think that people may think poorly of you, but in the end it’s probably a waste of time giving any of your limited and valuable time away on concerns like this, especially since there will always be people or potential people that simply won’t ‘like’ (gel, click, have chemistry with, etc.) each of us – this is just a fact of life and fine.
And as for the idea that someone else’s momentary judgement of you is necessarily correct – this may be true, it may not, and in any case it’s not remotely determinable either way and is much more likely to fall somewhere between any cut and dry assessment anyway. But the main point, I think, is that allowing ourselves to get pulled in to this kind of mental mine-trap is simply not a worthwhile use of time and energy. We all make mistakes, sometimes hurt people when we don’t mean to at all, but as long as we are acting honestly and in a way that is generally responsible, while at the same time not short-changing ourselves, there’s not much more that can be done. And there’s always the option of apologizing if you truly feel sorry for something you’ve done that you feel caused someone else pain, but too much more than that is probably not energy well spent.
not sure that you will want my mad Rambleings on here, they have nothing to do with music, plently to do with hopes and dreams, wants & wishes, love filled places, that have the ability to wash a person’s soul clean.
Well maybe it is a song after all, one of the heart, instead of musical, you know? i am sure you do.
well anyway, Ridiculous day, and i think my Internal filter is broke or on the blink !
I’m totally into it, Jo! Where better to talk about hopes & dreams, wants & wishes, love filled places, and the ability to wash a soul clean? Music of the heart, indeed!
Very glad you are into it, or else it would have to be the straight jacket & dark room for me, feeling less Embarrassed now!
yeah i have re-read it, maybe i should just get wild more often, if it releases this torrent of feelings, i am sure it did me good, who knows.
the cancerous, toxic, that is brought to the garden of eden, i think, is the striving and sometimes failing, to treat people kind, you know, and the bad feelings that are in your head,and sometimes spill out, makes you feel like a bad person, if you hurt others, so you battle with yourself to do better, be better. It is sometimes just exhausting, so for me those places in scotland, if you take the time to sit, and soak it up, seems to lighten the load on me, seems to right me, like an uneven ship, finally letting go of it’s cargo, oh god here i go again…
Nothing to feel embarrassed about, Jo. We all need a release of the ‘torrent of feelings’ (very good way of putting that). And I’m very glad you’re able to do it in this way. It sounds like you have a very great deal going on inside and really enjoy having an outlet to get some of it released. Have you thought about writing a blog of your own? I know I would definitely subscribe!
I also can definitely relate to the never wanting to hurt others with your own words or actions, but we all need to live our lives and, again, as long as we’re not doing anything truly harmful, not take too much energy worrying or beating ourselves up for being human (i.e. imperfect).
In any case it is great that you have a place to go where you can release some of these things, that’s a gift.
Hi, It’s me, i think i am in the right place ?
Hello Jo! Yes you are. This is perfect, now you can ask me anything to your heart’s desire and I will respond in full
(I’m about to be leaving the web for a few hours but tell me what’s on your mind and I’ll get you back as soon as I’m sitting down again).